Friday, March 21, 2008

Yo Jo!!!!

I had planned to write a well thought out blog about fantasy and my love for that genre of literature. I really did. Then I thought i'd go to joblo.com for a while. And I saw this.

For those of you who have no idea why a grown(well semi-grown at least) straight man is behaving like ........well you know, let me tell you two things.

1)You don't deserve to live
2)That gentleman there, is known to hordes of fanboys as none other than Snake Eyes. At least that is how he will appear in the upcoming J.I.Joe movie (for those who don't know what J.I.Joe is, go back to point 1....and please stay there). And as you can guess, I'm not displeased. Snake Eyes was my favorite Joe, and I always felt the animated series never did justice to a character with such potential. Of course, it's easy to see how the designers just opened "Cool for dummies" and copied out everything they saw. I mean the guy's a futuristic ninja who wears all black, doesn't speak, has his origins shrouded in mystery and carries a katana. Couldn't get more textbook than that.

Holi ??!! Really ???

Excerpt from an article in a newspaper today morning:-
"Holi is the day when people drop their inhibitions and take to the streets with lots of gulal and coloured water as their arsenal. They smear the colours on unsuspecting passers-by, who may have ventured out with a prayer that they may be spared. It might be then that 'the prankster' and 'the victim' bond with colours and lot of goodwill."

So the canonization of hooliganism begins. The article hit me in an empty stomach, so it's effect was especially potent. It is things like this that make me despair about the future of our great nation. Seriously. When a bunch of multicoloured monkeys descend on a hapless individual and smear him with chemicals that cannot possibly be good for any part of the body, how exactly is that social bonding? Dear Mr. fancy newspaper article writer (you know who you are), let me give you an amazing bit of insight into human psychology. When a person leaves his house "praying" that he wont be assaulted and molested on the streets, he probably, just probably, really does NOT want to be assaulted and molested. Unless the 'prankster' is Katrina Kaif in a bikini and the 'victim' is someone who looks like me, there is no way he is going to bond with the delinquents who spray him with foul smelling , toxic paint laden water and run away, laughing like jackasses while they do it. There is no colourful bollywood style musical montage where the 'prankster' and 'victim' see each other through a mist of colour and social understanding and goodwill and embrace while 50 extras dance in the background. It most likely ends with the 'victim' cursing the parents, grandparents and all ancestors of the 'pranksters' while vainly trying to clean himself and hoping and praying he won't have to leave his house next year.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

And it all begins........again (alternatively, OH SHIT!!!!)

For the longest time I just didn't have the inspiration or creativity. Not that I am bursting with either at this moment, but I'm bored. Sometimes that can be just as good a spur as a burst of imagination. The end product.......well that's where all bets are off my friend. But then again, no one is holding a gun to your head. Unless of course, currently your postal address is Guantanamo Bay. In which case I suggest you start talking quickly you poor man. Ever since water boarding earned all sorts of bad press, they have had to fall back on my little virtual space as the best way of getting 'confessions' I believe Sarabjit was forced to read some of my stuff. The unfortunate fellow may recover in time, but chances are slim.
Talking of Sarabjit, I love the way the BJP are dealing with the situation. After his sister's face was plastered all over the news channels, the collective saffron hearts melted and they have come up with the only solution that will bring back a smile to everyone's face - Hang Afzal. I personally would love it if Mush came out and gave a go ahead to that, saying terrorists on both sides of the border should be dealt with strongly. Of course he wouldn't, given the wobbly situation he is in now, but that would have made a lot of people squirm. However, Utopian dreams aside, its holi on Saturday, and I'm feeling like the mouse during the first half of mouse hunt, unfairly victimized. Just because a sizable portion of the population decides to act like repainted buffoons, I have to sit at home on my only weekly off day. And of course, there will be celebrations at the glorious altar of getting piss drunk. Well, I guess as always, it will have to be internet to the rescue.